A Regular Guy – Derek Adams

2017 Crabbe Poetry Competition – Third Prize
Adjudicator:
Esther Morgan

A Regular Guy

Yes Sir, regular like clockwork. Ev’ry Saturday
mowed tha grass, ev’ry Sunday washed his automobile,
even after he wuz retired, even tha week his ol’ lady died.
Ev’ry other year he paints the aluminum sidings, n tha year
in­-between he paints tha doors n winder frames.
Then one day he plain up n disappeart.

We seen his mailbox ain’t bin emptied fur a while,
now that ain’t like him n he ain’t said he’s goin’ on vacation,
n his ol’ Chevy’s still longside tha house.
So Mary sez she’d better git on over, see he’s okay
or if’n he needs anything, n she comes back flustered
as all get out, coz he ain’t answerin’ to her knockin’,
so I sez we’d best call tha cops.

Tha Sheriff’s office calls his daughter,
up in Washington State, n she sez No
n A couple a weeks I guess n Oh my God n Okay.
So tha cops come round n bust tha door,
spectin’ tha worst, they checks tha bedroom
n tha bathroom n ev’ry­where, shine their flashlights
in tha loft, n tha garage, in tha crawlspace.
Nuthin’. They finds his keys n wallet n
what looks like alla his clothes, but he’s jez up n disappeart.

Well they put out an A.P.B. n shown his photo roun’ town
n at tha bus station, nobody’s seen him.
So tha Sheriff’s office calls his daughter,
up in Washington State, n she sez No
n Oh my God n Okay. Then her n her ol’man,
who’s somethin’ in construction, fly down.

Tha Sheriff hisself goes with’em long ta tha house,
n tha daughter takes a real good look round
n sez Yes n No n Ev’rythings as should be,
cepting a photo of Mom, a photo of Mom

in a silver frame, that should be in Pa’s bedroom.

Yes Sir, that’s what she sez, ev’rythings as should be,
cept that one thing.

Derek Adams


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